I love records.  I’ve aspired to hold a few.

“Can you get me a glass of milk in 45 seconds?  That’s the record.”  “Can you bike down to 7-11 and get me some gatorade in less than a half hour? That’s the record.”  “Can you go downstairs while I’m peacefully watching Loony Toons, grab me a hot cup of chocolate milk, and bring it to me without spilling it within sixty seconds? Cuz that’s the record.”

To this day, I haven’t broken a record, but I tried every time to break it.  It was strange, I never held a stop watch, but I was always one second shy of holding those sacred records according to my brother.  Equally as strange, I never knew who actually held those records, and equally as stupid, I never asked.