When you ask someone a question and they respond with ” That’s a good question”. It means, I don’t know. I respond by saying, I don’t have the faintest idea, or I don’t have a clue. It’s just that easy.

I asked someone how many little people could fit in a stretch limousine. They responded with, “That’s a good question.” First of all, it’s not a good question. Don’t respond at all.

Just like Jiffy Lube, critics can blow it up their mufflers.

The other day, I was criticized regarding my writing. Honestly, it hurt. I am not afraid to admit I am sensitive. It goes with the territory just like sharks are in the ocean.

How do I deal with it? Prayer.

Trying to understand the horrors lingering in the once peaceful city of Wenatchee, Washington, I first acknowledge the three angels the earth left behind. Then, I want to understand why someone would deliver their sentence. The truth is, I don’t know. I don’t even understand myself, let alone others.

Prayers

It’s raining in Seattle and no one knows how to drive. When it snows in Seattle, no one goes to work. When it is dry and sunny, everyone wishes to drive recklessly endangering those who drive the speed limit. I feel like I’m writing a letter to the local news from a bored house wife.

I need some new material. Maybe I’ll call one of my sisters

It is the academy awards for Catholics today. Who will be the next Pope and will he have the proper Id to travel? What will they wear. Who wore it best?

I would love our current President to be declined to go to Canada because his ID wasn’t real.

Repent, you non advised sinners.

The blackberries taste like blackberries. For the second time in my life, I was caught stealing. The first time, my dad busted me for concealing an armed Milky Way in my pocket. That was age 5. I payed for it in the chicken coop where ample wood was available for a proper whacking.

Now, I’m guilty of committing another crime at age 50. I stole two black berries at the local market in Milan, Italy. Thinking they were samples, I ate one and tossed another to my wife, which makes her an accomplice. Sirens went blazing and I threw my hands in the air after the man, ten yards away, was accusing me of theft. Avoiding Italian incarceration, I apologized and payed 3 bucks for the case of berries.

I have the most boring bucket list known to man or woman kind. One of which is being clean shaven in London with a razor which may or may not provide hepatitis. You leave a tip if they give you hepatitis.

Other than Willy Wonka, the best thing about London is new commercials.

BK doesn’t have it their way in the UK.

Drama is the weather. Seattle effectively shutdown last week over a half inch of snow, and what amounted to be a five minute “blizzard”. It led me to both roll my eyes, and reflect on the less terrifying memories of my snowy childhood.

I grew up in a city called Spokane. We would regularly get two to three feet of snow in the summer. That does’t count the plows pushing an additional six feet of snow in our drive way. Pounding our way through Eastern Europe, we said, “Screw this noise, Let’s build a snow castle!” Done. I was the brain. My brothers were the engineers. It was magnificent.

Bigfoot. Where the Hell is He or She?

This topic has plagued me for years. I blame it on my brother, Tom. At the age of six, he convinced me this bipedal apelike creature roamed the Northwest. Bravo, Tom. Maybe just like the myth, he was just screwing with me. It scared the crap out of me. Not funny.

He also convinced his God Son there was a bengal tiger living in his basement. The mother of his God Son thanked him properly. “Thanks, Tom. Our terrified youth will never travel to Asia because of you, and I will never sleep.”

How about an encore of Godzilla, King Kong, Patrick Mahomes or the movie “Cocktail”? All providing nightmares.