Hockey on ice is for suckers. Hockey in the basement is for idiots……especially if you are the goalie, playing against your older brothers and their older friends.

The Winter Olympics are upon us and it brings back some nostalgia. Of course the 1980 USA Men’s hockey team “Miracle on Ice” will forever be embedded in our minds. Our “idiots on ceramic tile” will only be embedded in the blood stained grout of our basement floor.

We needed equipment. Since ice is usually required for ICE hockey, we didn’t have any so skates weren’t an issue. Needing a puck, we didn’t have one of those either. Sticks? Pfff, we are not from the Midwest. Masks? Bravery and stupidity had to replace those. Therefore, we improvised.

My old man had a few golf clubs which were hand me downs from the doctors he worked with in Spokane, Washington. Those became our hockey sticks. The golf balls within his bag became the pucks. Baseball gloves were a primitive form of goalie defense.

We already had a goal. That was the four by eight closet on the south side of the basement. This goal required a goalie. Who was man enough, or dumb, enough to handle this position? The answer to this question is simple. Me. When I entered the goalie area with a baseball chest protector and one of my brother’s groin cups, I felt properly protected. However, I wrapped the cup around my face and a brother informed me where it actually belongs and where it should remain. I was now fair game for the brothers and friends. My baseball glove became my only means of protection.

We had fun. The price I paid was worth it. The miracle of our “idiots on ceramic tile” basement olympics was that no one lost any teeth, and only a few windows were broken. Let the olympic spirit live.