This may seem an unsettling title to my blog, but keep in mind I have selective attention. I tend to hear what I want to hear, or dismiss what I don’t want to hear.
My wife works for a business where they seem forbidden to speak in proper English, and instead speak in coded language and acronyms. They can’t say, “Great. Good work.” It’s “GGW”. Efficiency? Mind you, their acronyms are different than standard text acronyms such as LOL, BYOB, TNT, WTH (what the heck?!!) or GD (Gold digger). It’s more like, “Hey. You wouldn’t believe what happened at work today. I had some IBS crashing with some COD’S and they almost KFTC’d my ass.” What? I didn’t understand anything but KTFC. (I thought it she said “KFC”.) Evidently, KTFC means kill the f—ing clown, which means fire someone.
I played along for awhile, just nodding my bobblehead before saying, “Would you like more dressing for your salad, or WYLMDFYS?” ( It’s a very common text before we eat.) Which reminds me, my old man would have loved texting. Those phones would have been tossed in the nearest body of water. A river, a lake, the ocean, a toilet, a pool (same as a toilet) or just a land mass with puddles.
While my wife was talking about the VD in her place of work, I was getting a bit skittish. Finally, I asked, with some trepidation, who has a venereal disease? Her reply, “I said BD, you dumbass. Business Development.”
What the Hell is that?