Fighting Irish

Why in the hell does a team In the USA, named after a French Cathedral, have an Irish mascot? What’s with the identity crisis?

The English translation of Notre Dame is “Our Lady” in French. The Notre Dame Bonapartes would be more applicable.

The Notre Dame Hunch Backs? Get real. Can you imagine the mascot?

We watched the fighting Irish play yesterday and instead of enjoying their victory, we thought about the past. Why in the uncivilized world would Micks, or dirty drunken Irish immigrants, wind up in a college which belongs in Paris?

The Crown

In my semi professional opinion, unlike the 2016 U. S. election, faithful democrats aren’t screaming, storming, or marching. Rather, they are tucked in a fetal position, much like Nancy Kerrigan, saying “why why why?!.”

My wife took it worse. The grinding of her teeth made her chip a tooth and break a crown. I’m glad we have dental insurance.

No fooling.

Playoffs

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s raining. I forgot my jacket. My wife threatened to leave me (not true). To Hell with Christmas. It doesn’t matter, though, because “Baseball playoffs” is the most wonderful time of the year.

I haven’t spoken this frequently with family members since last season. Baseball brings us together.

Baseball was an obsession for me growing up as a foolish youngster. I was a fan almost to the point of nausea for others. I’m no longer a fan, but I still do love the game. The most important thing I’ve learned is that it’s not just about watching baseball, but who you watch it with.

ZZ Topless

This is how blind I am. My wife and I were watching late night tv and, without my glasses, I was wondering why she watching ZZ Top. She said “Those are the Four Tops, you dumb ass.”

Now, she just walks around the house calling me dumb ass. She also calls me Ray Charles. I take that as a compliment.

The Olympics and Picnics

I remember Mary Lou and Carl Lewis at the 84 Olympics. Our family watched it collectively, and It was dynamite. Recently, my sister made a great analogy regarding the Olympics. She thought, although impressive, badminton is a game played in the backyard or at picnic gatherings. It was a funny observation. As a jerk, I convinced her lawn darts was also an Olympic event. But, instead of receiving medals, the winner would be rewarded with a lifetime supply of potato salad.

The games have changed.

VD

This may seem an unsettling title to my blog, but keep in mind I have selective attention. I tend to hear what I want to hear, or dismiss what I don’t want to hear.

My wife works for a business where they seem forbidden to speak in proper English, and instead speak in coded language and acronyms. They can’t say, “Great. Good work.” It’s “GGW”. Efficiency? Mind you, their acronyms are different than standard text acronyms such as LOL, BYOB, TNT, WTH (what the heck?!!) or GD (Gold digger). It’s more like, “Hey. You wouldn’t believe what happened at work today. I had some IBS crashing with some COD’S and they almost KFTC’d my ass.” What? I didn’t understand anything but KTFC. (I thought it she said “KFC”.) Evidently, KTFC means kill the f—ing clown, which means fire someone.

I played along for awhile, just nodding my bobblehead before saying, “Would you like more dressing for your salad, or WYLMDFYS?” ( It’s a very common text before we eat.) Which reminds me, my old man would have loved texting. Those phones would have been tossed in the nearest body of water. A river, a lake, the ocean, a toilet, a pool (same as a toilet) or just a land mass with puddles.

While my wife was talking about the VD in her place of work, I was getting a bit skittish. Finally, I asked, with some trepidation, who has a venereal disease? Her reply, “I said BD, you dumbass. Business Development.”

What the Hell is that?